Of Death and Dying

I really feel for the family... Everything's okay one minute, you go out round the block, come home, and find your child went to heaven ahead of you. I mean, that's just so crap. As a parent, the blame comes home to roost on your head, even if you couldn't possibly have done anything to prevent it. I just keep thinking that there is no WAY something like this could have happened without someone else to help it along, but all I can see from a couple thousand miles away is that it's all a tragic accident.

The child was 10, and practicing his sax.

These are the times when I ask God, 'Why?', and there just doesn't seem to be a reason. The one that keeps coming to my mind is that he had fulfilled his purpose on Earth, and God said, 'Way to go, good job, honey! Time to come home now.' It's not a comforting reason by any stretch, but hey, when was this kind of thing ever comforting. There really is nothing that anyone can say or do that will make his parents and brother feel any better.

This is the fourth (I think) death of a child I have heard of in as many months. So they all happen overseas, so what? Even though I'm not the most child-loving person in the entire world (simply not equipped to deal with them), I always feel that there is such a great loss whenever a child passes on. The only thing that comforts is the knowledge that a child who dies before a certain age gets to go to Heaven. What that 'certain age' is, I have no idea, but there is always space to hope and dream.

Hearing all of this does get me to thinking, am I ready to go should the Lord call me home? Frankly?

Well, no.

I want to bungee jump off the Victoria Falls, trek in the Andes, meet people from all over the world, watch the youth grow up strong, swim in the Great Barrier Reef, so many many things that I want to do, see, experience. Most of all, I want to live to see the Second Coming, and the validation of everything that I believe in.

Isn't it funny, then, that we spend out lives preparing for the day we die? We buy life insurance, write wills, collect money, etc. Well, either you spend you time preparing to die, or just trying to fend off that day with everything that we have, drinking, clubbing, plastic surgery, botox, youth serum, oh, the list goes on forever.

What's so scary about dying? I guess it's just like everything else; we're afraid of it coz we don't know what happens after. Do we disintegrate? Vanish? Reincarnate? Go to Hell? Heaven? Get stuck in a grey limbo? Which is it?

Well, as a Christian, dying isn't really so scary anymore. I believe that after I die, I go to Heaven. Simple and clean, no half-life/after-death stuff for me. Imagine lingering around trying to make yourself heard! Not fun at all. There have to be more interesting things to do after you die than wander around getting your thrills from giving the living goosebumps. I suppose it'd be fun for a while, but it's one of those things that gets boring after a while, no?

But still, am I prepared to die tomorrow?

The probability of it isn't very high unless I get electrocuted in the office, killed in a flaming bus explosion, get clocked on the head by a madly murderous gym pansy swinging an 8 lb weight for taking her spot in the gym, or drop a 35 lb barbell on my head while doing clean and presses. Accidents aside, while being wholly cozignant of their possibility, I like to think I'm not quite likely to breathe my last yet. But in case I do, I, Amy Teo, being of sound mind and without coercion, leave what I have to my family.

I suppose I'm pretty prepared, but I still don't want to... :)

Darn, I'm really tired.... Not enough sleep will do that to you, on top of the being on the brink of being sick. Meds are suppressing symptoms, hopefully I will be better after I sleep.

Kisses!